A Marine Corps Harrier Squadron was invited to attend the annual Air Force Red Flag exercise at Nellis Air Force Base, NV. This is one of the USAF's big exercises where they test Combined Arms employment of tactical air assets.
The USAF F-15 pilots showed up on the ramp with dozens of rear echelon airman types and tons of equipment such as Ground Power Units, Accessory Power Units, Hummers, Trucks, Air Conditioners, etc, while the Marines formed up ready for combat with only their Harriers.
The Air Force commander commented to the Marine C.O., "Where is all your support stuff? Geezz, you guys really are just Grunts that know how to fly."
Not wanting to disappoint the Air Force commander, the Marine C.O. and his First Sergeant devised a plan. Under the cover of darkness, the Marine Squadron fabricated and installed bayonet studs onto the Pitot tube of each Harrier.
The next morning, the Air Force pilots fell in on the ramp in front of their F-15s and the Marine pilots formed up on the other side of the ramp in front of their Harriers. Each Marine pilot wore deuce gear with a bayonet in the scabbard.
The USAF commander ordered his pilots to "man your planes."
The USAF ground crews by the dozens scrambled to their trucks, APU's, GPU's, etc. and the pilots ran to their planes.
The Marine C.O. barked, "Fix Bayonets."
Each pilot ran to the front of their Harrier, fixed his bayonet onto the Pitot tube, and came to attention.
The Marine C.O. then barked, "CHARGE" and the Marines jumped in their Harriers, dusted airborne, and flew off.
The Marine C.O. turned to the USAF commander and said; "THAT is what Marines consider Close Ground Support."
Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar . One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.
The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset, -- and then turned off.
Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.
Back at the CHP Hq the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander.
The reply came back in true USMC style:
“Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident.
You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.
Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment’s location.
Fortunately, the Marine pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.
The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech.
Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.
Thank you for your concern.”